10 Bay Challenge

If you want a history lesson and a great laugh then read on……

Race report by Matt Collyer:

If you’ve ever looked at a nice, serene beach and thought, “You know what this needs? Agony.”—then congratulations, you’re my people. This race wasn’t so much a run as it was an immersive re-enactment of every historically ill-advised expedition rolled into one.

I approached the start line with the same naive optimism as Napoleon entering Russia: full of carbs and poor decisions. My race strategy? Run as fast as I can so I can go home and eat chips like a glorious, victorious goblin. Classic Sun Tzu.
But this was no ordinary course. No sir. What lay ahead was a treacherous blend of geologic spite and canine-based obstacle warfare.

First, the sand: an ancient enemy of both pharaohs and feet. Running on it felt like trying to sprint across the Sahara during an existential crisis. Then came the rocks—think Stonehenge, but if someone scattered it mid-temper tantrum. Every step a gamble, every landing a potential footnote in a future podiatry journal.
Next up: a dune/cliff hybrid which was, by all accounts, a cruel joke left by an angry topographer. Climbing it felt like scaling Masada mid-battle, minus the dramatic soundtrack. There were also stairs—constructed during what I can only assume was a medieval dark ritual to curse all future quads.

And of course, the extendable dog leads, stretching across the path like the Maginot Line—pointless, slightly tragic, and designed to ensnare the overly confident.
By the time I staggered across the finish line, I’d completed the physical equivalent of:
• Hannibal’s Alpine trek (but with fewer elephants and more Labradoodles),
• a sand-based reinterpretation of the Battle of Thermopylae,
• and a DIY Marathon des Sables, all for the price of a mid-range cheese board.

Would I do it again? Like any great empire, I’ve already forgotten the pain in a haze of salt and glory. Chips were consumed. Honour was restored. Achilles himself would’ve wept at my blisters.
10/10. Would recommend. For enemies.

Well done Matt, not only did you win this race and set a new course record, you have written a report that makes me laugh out loud each time I read it! Thankyou!